Parents of School Kids – (First Timers)

My son Logan just started kindergarten this year as you may know from a my previous post ‘Home Mom vs Work Mom’ and boy, oh boy has it been an adjustment…

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This is my first time being a mom of a school kid, so I was not prepared at all for how he would react to being in school or how well he would adjust. Logan has never been in school. The closest thing was when he was 2 we had him with a daycare provider who would do arts and crafts and teach him things, but he was in her home and they were free to move around and play. We were throwing him into Kindergarten without any previous knowledge of what school would be like or what he should expect. We would talk to him and tell him how to behave in class, what he should do, helped ready him for the learning portion (ABC’s, 123’s, Name, etc.) who to listen to, and so on.. but that was the extent of his knowledge of school.

The first day of school…

Logan was so excited to start school. He is so social so he was ready to make friends and do homework and have recess.. he was just so filled with joy! I was an emotional wreck, also very stressed because the morning of his first day nothing went as planned, of course, so it was a choatic, unorganized, crazy morning and he was not going to wait on me. I got him up and dressed and we headed to school.

When we finally get to his class he was so excited, he grabbed his name tag and ran to sit on the floor with all of the other kids. My daughter was not cooperating so I couldn’t snap any good pictures or observe how he adjusted to his first day. He definitely looked so overjoyed and looked as if he was doing great. He sat down criss-cross and listened to the teacher, at least from the 2 minutes I got to see him before I had to leave. I was really bummed I couldn’t stay longer and even more bummed out that I couldn’t get any pictures of him due to the crazy morning we had.

Later that day I went to pick him up from school and that is when it all went down hill. When I arrived at his classroom to pick him up there he was waiting with his teacher. His teacher grabbed my arm and said with a stern voice “I need to speak with you” and she told me “He needs work, he is very disruptive and just talks and talks and kept playing with the other kids when I asked him to sit down, you didn’t put him in preschool did you?” I was honest and replied “No, he has never been to school before, this is his very first year. I know he has alot of energy and I will speak to him” then she responded “Yeah you need to fix this because he doesn’t listen you need to fix it. He is very disruptive.” I was very respectful and calm while she was talking to me, but I felt very offended. I felt she was shaming me or putting my son down because he didn’t go to preschool and because he wasn’t perfect on his FIRST day of school.

After the first day I kind of let it all go, I was not going to let the way his teacher spoke to me or the comments she made upset me, I was going to just focus on helping Logan be better and help him understand more how he needs to behave and comply in the classroom. I was very hard on him at first because that’s how other parents are and their kids are good kids. WRONG! Every child is different and taking away the things he enjoys just made him rebel more. Once I learned my son’s language I learned how to help him understand what we were asking for. He is a very sensitive and observative child. He hates when I am sad or angry so I learned to use that as a way to help him understand when he doesn’t behave in school it makes me very sad, and when he is mean in school it makes me sad and angry. He has now done pretty well and tells me out of nowhere “Mommy, I’ll be good in school tomorrow, I’ll listen” and sure enough he has made some major improvements since the first week of school.

I love to see him learning and the fact that he is doing great in every other aspect of school makes me feel like I am not doing such a bad job as a mom afterall.

Those of you moms who have kids who just started school for the first time as well, or that time is creeping around the corner, my advice to you would be…. be patient, don’t take anything the teacher says to heart, and always recognize the GOOD that your child is doing. Don’t let strict teacher remarks keep you down. The behaviour of your child’s first experience in school is NOT a reflection of your parenting, but it is you’re child learning to adjust just as we, even as adults, have some trouble adjusting when it comes to change, sometimes they just need some extra help and guidance to settle into their school. It’s going to be a new change every year as our kids go into a new grade, so be patient, show your support, and guide your little one because they need you and your guidance. If we end up bald from pulling our haid out, so be it, as long as our little ones make it through school as decent individuals.

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